9 May 2016
JIM MARTIN | 09.05.1992 | Kerrang!
He's justly proud of his reputation as one of the most repulsive characters in Metal today. His drinking is legendary, his debauchery knows no bounds. His name is frequently prefaced by 'Big Sick Ugly'. No, dummies - we ain't talking about STEFFAN CHIRAZI! We're talking about the man who spills the beans here about his daily routine...
Kerrang! | Issue 391 | Steffan Chirazi
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JIM MARTIN
JAMES BLANCO Martin, 30, is the lead guitarist for Faith No More.
He has played guitar since his teenage years with a variety of bands, such as Pigs Of Death, E-Z Street, Recluse, and the (almost) world-famous Vicious Hatred. He is also well-known in Hayward, California as a connoisseur of fine ales and a mean hand at the pool table. A keen viewer of quality over-the-counter pornography, he is also a marksman of note, taking target practise whenever his schedule permits.
Amongst his other talents are playing the hurdy-gurdy, a keen interest in bagpipes and the ability to express extreme social belligerence without offending anybody. Martin isn't married and lives in a two-room area of the Hayward house that he grew up in.
"USUALLY I'LL just lie in until everybody leaves the house about 2.30pm," says Jim, "which is a comfortable time for rolling out of bed. Within 45 seconds of waking up I light up a cigar or a cigarette. Right now it's different, because I have to be in the studio at 1am so I have to start early in the morning to make use of available time. But this is about how I normally like to spend a day at home, right? By the time I get up I'll have a bursting full bladder but I'll go to the kitchen and put my water in the microwave first so I can get my tea going before I have a piss. I'm a real tea man. I like Liptons Standard tea best of all, but Lil (Jim's mother)
ends to get the cheapest shit she can find so currently we have Rose tea. While I drink that I pull out the old toaster; a favourite of mine is waffles.
I'll pop one of those in, and when it's done I'll put peanut butter and jam on it and munch. Then I'll have another cup of tea and more waffles before hurrying down to the toilet again to spray an alcoholic shit into the bowl (courtesy of last night's drinking). Whenever I'm on the toilet I have to have something to read. Never the mail, never the paper, generally a book or a magazine. See this (a camping supplies magazine)? I've read this about 20 times but I do try for fresh reading materials. I've managed to read quite a few books over the years whilst on the throne, including the 'The Official Bartender's Guide'.
AFTER THAT I'll look at myself in the mirror and decide whether need a shower. I pretty much always need a shower but I tend to put it off - like now, haven't showered in about a week! Can't seem to find the time. Then I'll laze on the bed and read some more, maybe f**k around with the of hurdy gurdy or banjo. I play the mandolin a lot - and maybe I'll even pick up a guitar. By this time it's about 5pm and I realise that I need something substantial to eat even though I've already had a few snacks. Usually I go out to eat, so I'll put on the same filthy, greasy clothes I've had on for a few days. The trousers I have on now... I was thinking about washing them but I never got around to it. And most of the trousers i have now are too small for me, so these stay on for comfort, I dress, leave the house in my large brown truck and drive down to a bar where a girl I went to school with bartends. It's called 'Cheers' in Hayward. I don't like the proprietor - she's a crabby old battle-axe! Having had the first drink of the day, it stretches to two or three, I'll get something to eat, maybe ribs at Emil Villas, or Chinese; recently it's been
Mexican at Los Compadres. I usually run into someone I know, and go off to drink beers and shoot pool.
IN A nut-shell, what I do all day is hide from everybody. That way I don't have to answer any questions or do anything, I end up going home after a few drinks, and work on my computer some or look at the mail or watch videos. I love watching cheap, shitty TV movies, drinking beer and eating food. Eating food pretty much keeps me awake, and I've often wondered why I'm not a fat bastard - even though I'm getting there! I put it down to taking lots of craps. Usually I'll watch movies until 6am, by which time I hit the sack so I can start all over the next day. I never, ever spend time thinking about anything much. If you start reflecting on your troubles and strives you start thinking your life's measly and alienate your friends. That's a standard day, but
there are others where I might only leave the house to get a pack of cigarettes. Maybe I'll go out on my motorcycle or in my truck; quite often I'll get a wild hair up my ass and just keep on going and going for two or three days on by myself, to the mountains or the desert (recently Death Valley and Reno). I do that for no reason at all, and that's the great part. I don't have to have a reason.
AND A typical tour day? In London, for example, if there are no interviews I'll get up about 11am for my full English breakfast, immediately after which I go back up to my room to read a book and take a large crap. Then I'll go find the nearest bar. The beer of my choice? Bitter. I know people talk about stronger beers, but a couple of those and you're all washed up for the evening. I don't just drink to get drunk, I sincerely enjoy the soothing, cool fluids running down my throat and bathing the membranes. So I'll have a few beers, maybe have some pub food, shamble around and go to the gig. After the gig I'll retire with some friends, usually to the Columbia Hotel whether we're staying there or not. It's a very happy hotel where everybody just lets you drink until you're through, i don't like to try to keep the same schedule wherever I am in the world!"